the stupid thing is

maybe or so it seems that lately i've wanted to know that you'll be there in all of those moments that only begin to make up the memory of this life, or something we might create that's remotely like it. when my father called and said he loved me for the first time in so many years i can't remember. when i can't sleep. when my brother's baby is born. when i decide where i'm going to live this summer and what i might do after that. when i meet tobais for the first time. when i step out of the shower. when i read a novel or see an image that moves me in a way that makes me cry. when i walk the streets at night to clear my mind. when i need a quarter for the vending machine. when i'm not sure what shoes to wear. when i need someone to tell me i'm not crazy or that i've had too much to drink.

i want you to be there -- in the corners of all the frames -- when i snap random shots of my family to press between the pages of photo albums.