no idea
seriously
i've got nothing
not that that's new
it's just that i'm putting it down
typing it up
which is also nothing
not 'no nothing'
which actually means something
to someone specific
i keep trying to write
but then when i see the words on the page
all inky and boxed up
it feels like there's a bunch of cotton that's gotten stuffed between what i thought i meant to say
and what actually got written
like everything comes out muffled
it was something about movements of bodies being like a pirouette--barefooted ballerinas
[see what i mean?]
sometimes i feel like my hands are made from bricks
or that maybe, when i wasn't looking, someone zipped off my fingers and replaced them with much less usable items
like dead fish