funny snippets

Lots of weird things have happened to me recently in conversations with different people.

A friend told me that . . .
1. something I had written made him feel aroused and dirty
2. if I ever wanted to seduce someone, I could do it with that voice (we were talking over the phone). He promptly asked me to stop talking that way.
3. I am strong, smart, witty, and pretty
4. he couldn’t have sex with some girl, because he was thinking of me
5. of course -- there was no doubt in her mind that I wore the sexiest underwear in our group of friends
6. he didn’t like it when I said the phrase e-driven-mindfuck
7. it’s impossible for women to masturbate
8. I have a strange geographically indefinable accent
9. she had other motives for getting me drunk
10. he thinks about me, because I am fascinating

Last night I told Jules the following:

You know, sometimes I type up parts of our conversations and publish them on the Internet.
How do you do that?
It’s easy, man.
What the fuck, dude. Don’t do that.
Why? Who cares.
I dunno.
Exactly.
Who would read what we have to say anyhow?
Nobody.
That’s still wild though, huh.
I guess.
Is that like the whole email thing, too?
Naw, it’s different.
Hmmm.
You gotta get online sucker.
Forget that – I’m not getting sucked into no box.
You’re stupid.
You’re typing this right now aren’t you?
No, I’m in bed.
Fucking liar.
No really, I swear.
You’re a fuck.
I try.

mistakes

yesterday I had to delete a post because i, apparently, didn’t have my head screwed on properly