It’s the promises we make to ourselves
that hurt so much when they’re broken.

And I wonder, sometimes, if it isn’t really my voice that is broken – rather than my will or conviction. I suppose it’s easier to believe that way. Makes me feel much less responsible and afraid. Perhaps that’s all lies are good for.

The plan and the emergency contingency have all but faded into the distance, and I’m left here – staring like a child into the palm of my hands looking for the answers. Even then all that comes clear are Wolf’s words again and again in my head – when if not now? And I know she’s right. I know she’s been right all along, and I’ve just got to find a way.