tell me you believe that
he demands
and I’ll never bring it up again
but you’ve got to tell me you seriously believe what you are saying.
I don’t.
can’t.
or shouldn’t.
And I know with every word I’m placing an irrevocable pressure on the invisible string that binds us together. The tether that pulls my lowest rib and reminds me what it feels like to experience truth and emotion and love. Each syllable – a scissor's snip that will snap and leave a traceable burn.
You can lie to yourself all you’d like
he hushes at me as I let the bath water surround like warm plush blankets
but don’t pretend that I’m buying any article of it.
We let the resulting silences fill in for answers – like what I’ll ever do and when. And as the vanilla scented beads transform into intoxicating noxious vapor, I know that it’s the love of friendship that won’t afford me the luxury to fall back into an empty and meaningless repose. And that if I do so – it won’t be co-dependency that delivers me up to the sacrifice of artifice.