no, no, no
I say
Much louder than I intend
But it sounds good to hear my own voice
louder than normal
without me
flying through the air as if it has some kind of intention other than to hurt someone else
which is what I hope it will do

evil
conniving
manipulative

no, no, no
I say
I mean this all as explanation
I mean to say that I don’t want to be your
Fascination
that I can deal with being
Enigmatic
that you can label me in any way you choose
and make suppositions about my life
based on the way I part my hair
the way I whisper when I’m afraid or tired
or because when we met
I was sitting on a park bench reading a book written by an unpopular communist leader
but don’t tell me I’m that
because fascinations are things we attach to
pop artists
shoe styles
video DJs
and other things that expire faster than dairy products
Fascination is what you have for the cute Starbucks barista with brilliant green eyes who always remembers your drink order and winks when arrive to take it away – like there’s some secret only the two of you know.
That’s it.
Because you’ll be sad the day you go in and he isn’t there. Replaced by some skinny girl with a ponytail – who won’t even notice that you come in every day. But you’ll still get your coffee, and you’ll probably forget about those green eyes before you’re finished drinking it.

I am not take-away
meant to be consumed after a late night binge at the club
and forgotten