white wine and independence

i'm filled with blank pages. i don't even have the desire to do it. like smoking cigarettes -- i lost the pose somewhere between here and there. or maybe it has something more to do with volition. or other things that burn from an ember and go quickly out before they're ready. i don't know. but maybe writing here will help. will get me back into the neediness of smashing out black symbols on a white page to make sense of anything and nothing and everything again.