the more pathetic version (brief edition)
[no need for kleenex folks]

wait for the bus
no bus
look at schedule
no bus for another hour and a half
very important meeting begins in approximately 45 minutes
curse unreliable public transportation
begin the 5-mile walk (that usually takes about an hour, no problem, in tennis shoes) to meeting place wearing black dress shoes with stacked heel
humidity arouses perspiration
wind wrecks hair
pink nicely pressed oxford shirt damp and crumpled
no doubt will certainly be late and disheveled for very important meeting
hot spots forming on delicate parts of the feet
start thinking of all the people who’ve been forced to march against their will in the snow or hot sand without shoes and in fear and/or starving children in africa and anything that won’t allow me to feel sorry for myself
decide i’m too old to cry over something as minor as this
halfway there
stop at an intersection
feet aching and wishing for the light to turn
wonder if i’d be better off carrying my shoes
a car with a group of boys in it turns the corner coming closer
the passenger leans out and barks
laughs from the gut
no hesitation lock dead on his eyes
barks just like a dog
momentarily consider hurling myself under the passing traffic
or firing back
walk flashes and i drag myself forward
carrying the weight of the history of words
alone means too much fear to respond
that’s how women get themselves killed
and i’m too old and self-confident to cry over something as minor as this
still halfway to go
arrive feeling sub-human
slip sweater over unkempt shirt
try not to visibly limp into meeting while apologizing for own existence