on the phone

i tell jay to stop talking
sip vodka slowly from a glass
so that i can listen to the words
All my sins...
I said that I would pay for them if I could . . .
close my eyes
rock my head
and listen to the steel against steel
hold the phone against the speaker
and hope he hears something about what i'm saying
about the truth that can come from in between the silences
and he says if i could be there i would
and i know he means it --