weaknesses

suddenly in a rain of upturned bottles – shampoo – conditioner – racing in empty taps around the bottom of the tub. bang my elbow against the frosted door’s metal tracking. all at once overwhelmed by my general lack of self control and consumed by the thousands of tiny lights flashing like pin pricks in my eyes. it’s the second morning this week that i’ve passed out in the shower. this time the crash was loud enough to arouse concern. and even though i protested, he fished me out. frustrated by my inability to care for myself. for my constant reliance on other people. for being careless and reckless. i am embarrassed and angry that i require his assistance. i don’t want him to care for me. promise myself i’m going to try and make a change. but even though i could very well blame these occurrences on my self destructive behaviors. my general pattern of sleep deprivation. coupled with my inability to ingest healthy foods. i don’t. instead decide that it’s the quick switch in body temperature. cold jog to hot shower. that has to be it.