realizations on the bus

i am really tired
ran into N on the way to the office
sitting on a bench
smoking rolled cigarettes
and looking like he’d never gone to sleep
we talked about coffee and poetry
agreed we both needed to get some of each
his hands were shaking when he fumbled with the papers
as he held a red jacketless book against his chest
in that free space we sat next to one another
laughter that sounded like too many pots crashing out of a cupboard and onto the floor
discord
we both said fuck a lot
but i was on my way somewhere else