bleached

after 15 minutes, i feel dizzy. like i’m being pressed sick by waves. glance at my watch – the sky – wonder how i’ll make it an hour more. i’ve decided to run to university. it’s at least 90 degrees. sweat already drips down the back of my neck – soaking into the cushiony straps of my backpack. my skin under the hot sun rises pink then red. stings with every footfall. the books in my bag crash—the corners dig into my back. suddenly my legs turn to stone.

i connect a string of angry swear words. a cadence to keep me catapulting to a place where i can slow down. the way i feel unsteady makes me think about stopping. instead i think about cool showers and the crisp fresh clothes stowed in my bag. and so i run. until i lose the ability to think clearly. one foot. the next.

but i have to stop when the cut on the bridge of my nose near my left eye opens up and blood won’t stop running down my face. into my eye. like thick clotted tears. realize i’ve nothing to staunch the flow propelled by my elevated heart rate. the blood makes me nauseous. decide to use the only thing i’ve got—my white t-shirt. hold it up partially in front of my face. exposing too much skin. decide to move from the running path to the busy street two blocks over just in case i fall—can’t make it—there’s lots of traffic. somebody would notice.

check as i turn the corner—still bleeding. enter that hazy state where suddenly i’m almost there not quite sure how. it feels like riding a bicycle down a highway in the rocky mountains without ever once using the breaks. it feels like going to the sun.