the quest for sweet peas, white wine, and independence

some days we just have to set ourselves down
remember that there were more good moments
than not
and that this ache that i feel deep in my bones
in that unreachable place
behind the workings of my eyes
might just disappear
even if i have to put myself to sleep
curled up on the couch in my office
slow music sliding from these speakers
because i can't stand to even contemplate the geography of that bed
the weight of sheets and the consequence of turning myself over
and against them
again and again and again