usually i'm so full of stuff to say over these weekend type days

i'm trying to finish some projects
(read that: i write 2 sentences in the span of, oh, maybe 3 hours. take a quick break to chat or check my email (usually turns into an hour or two). then check over the two sentences and delete not only them but the last 5 or so that i've written and decide to start again.)

i'm trying not to drop out of grad school

i'm trying not to let other aspects of my life drive me completely and uselessly insane

so i've not got much left, in this moment, for creative-non-fiction-stream-of-consciousness-lazy-diatribes that make dull stabs at prettying up the ineptitudes of my life
but last night i went out and danced to the blues until the wee hours
and tried to forget about the way i couldn't stop from crying when i tried to say i love you
which really meant goodbye
it's strange how the feelings we share through and between and with other people can become like a sacred habitable space
how these moments in time when i'm thinking of you
or the way your voice sounds when we're talking about nothing in particular
lets place loose from previously held definition
and home becomes so clear and simple--
everything that you are