realizing that what you know is fuck all to begin with

maybe what i needed to hear over the crowded din of a loud bar the junky juke box heroes was the truth
stained and red faced and eyes full up with tears
to make me understand the i don't understand anything at all
and that even at my best moments
i only hurt everyone
i only inflict damage when what i want most of all
is exactly the opposite

i don't deserve love
to give
or to receive
because i know what it is to be the one who doesn't get it
getting kicked when your down
getting fucked around
i've got it all
mapped out in scars across my back
my arms
the upper right part of my skull
the insides where no one will ever see
i've got it written on a map across my body that reads:
danger
damaged goods
crazy
fucked-up
no good
toxic

if you always cause pain in the people you most love, then you're only just a plague looking for victims
i am the plague
plagues equal murder
i am violence
maybe i should be quarantined

maybe i'm not fit for public contamination