once, you sent me a test file. a recording of you playing the piano. and i thought that there wasn't any possible way to love you more. than in that moment. when your fingers stormed spontaneously across the keys and moments later into my ears. and all i wanted to do was cry. greedy tears as if i could cry up a river and then float myself all the way to your door. but there is no river. and i am still foolishly listening to the way you make sounds into music with your hands. some notes sound just like the way your eyes get--smaller--glossier--when you laugh -- or the way your lips feel against the back of my neck when i'm just falling away into sleep.