where i've lost touch with the world and i'm going to start spiraling out of control and i probably won't be able to make it stop until it wants to be over because the handwriting in my journal goes from clean and clear to a scrawling incomprehensible mess. i can't even make out some of the things i wrote last night. and on top of it all, i took the pen and frantically struck it all out with huge sweeping non-linear strokes. my hand trying so hard that the impressions show on the next page.