He1 says that I am without question the sexiest girl in the department and then sits next to me in the booth far too closely.

My ex sits across from us wide eyed and later says far too many years late that I am beautiful and sexy and intelligent and irreplaceable.

He2 holds me inappropriately in an embrace outside the bar, his hands somehow inside my rib cage, his face and lips and breath inside my hair, an hour or so after he exclaims in front of a group of our mutual friends at the inexplicable situation that we aren't currently dating, and says finely tuned words like loved for guitar strings are strung.

I call Him twice on two different occasions, aside from other modes of communication, to say stupid desperate words that sound a lot like I miss you and I need you and you are so much and

even though this love is impossible to compare to anything else before or since
I am still this me, now, and
he doesn't show
and that is
way more than
enough, now.