when i'm not available by phone or email, he comes by to check. finds me passed out on the floor of the bathroom. this time, alone, i hit my head. hard. and my ears ring his words senseless while he shakes me back into lights and puts wet hands on my face. he's crying and rocking me unmoving. tears fall in my ears and down my throat. if they're mine. his. ours. no telling. wraps me up in blankets and leaves when i can't stop sobbing and asking for you.