certainly, in my life, i've hurt a lot. i've been hurt. i've hurt other people. sometimes intentionally, mostly not. i've watched myself in memories underneath the heels of boots and fists. i've watched my skin seared by the tips of cigarettes. i've watched myself in the mirror and wondered why those memories look so much like me.

there they stick, like memories do. and yet can't compete with the hurt i cause in other people--the way i alienate and maim so many people that i love so much more than i love myself. i am so much damage to love. until i turn and turn and that mirror me becomes nightmarish and small. hideous. unmanageable. something to be caged and left alone in a very dark room.