me: where the fucks the cat?
me: you don't have a fucking cat.
me: swear to god, man, there was a cat here earlier.
me: that's not your cat. and it hasn't been here at all today.
[check the closets, the shower, the corners]
me: are you sure?
me: it's his cat.
me: right, i know, but i coulda sworn--
me: it's like that white dress shirt in your closet
me: uh huh
me: it belongs to someone else
me: but the shirt's there [check the closet] see . . . i mean, i could put this shit on and it'd be the white dress shirt that isn't mine
me: still isn't yours stupid
me: what? does that render it less real?
me: noupe. it renders it meaningless.
me: umm . . .huh?
me: ennit.
me: oh, fuck, there goes the fucking cat!
me: told you so.