I brought a shovel and a pail full of the last gritty remnants of snow from a too-long winter. We're going to build a paper sailboat to maroon on the ice so we can watch it slowly capsize amid discussions of Paris through the eyes of a gay black American and one too many wines/tequilas/gins. Spin horrifying tales of passengers' lives and final moments until we're certain there are no survivors. In a glow of burning paper hats, blowing paper noisemakers as if it's New Year's Eve.

world domination has to start somewhere, she said.