because i can't seem to write what i've been trying to write (because i didn't sleep at all last night) --

things that have happened in the past 5 years:

1. got divorced
2. fell in love over the internet
3. moved
4. went to the UK, twice
5. thought i was going to get married again, then realized i wasn't
6. foster father died
7. got increasingly sick(er) and diagnosed with disease/disorder for which there is no cure
8. tried to cure broken heart by getting into terrible destructive relationship (got more broken heart and did things i'd been wrongly accused for/about in the break-ups of other relationships)
9. best friend died
10. met new partner, who, after spending a week together, promptly quit his job and moved 1,500 miles and into my apartment

oh, yeah, aside from the whole nearly-complete graduate program/dissertation/job search.

i need an effing break.