this wind screaming madness, lately, leaves me feeling unhinged. wishing for window sills. and second floor falls. and the un-satisfaction of being a fallible fuck. i don't even wonder anymore how i so slowly steadily migrate from being the everything to the nothing. the wrong thing. the slow driving mechanical tick of madness that makes everyone i've ever loved. love someone i never was. and never will be. and won't ever become. only to rip the screens down from the porch and to wreck up every single memory of you that ever was. scattered and lost in the scream of the mad. of the wind. to loose myself from the dream of the lie. when it comes.