the thing i think i know
is that really i can't do this either

see

because really all i've been doing is sitting in the garden smoking too many cigarettes and watching crap on television and wondering if i have too many spots and if i've gained too much weight since i've gone all medicated and for-fucks-sake probably-just-(maybe only pretend)-happy

instead i stay up late nights playing escape-the-room games

[and that's probably (not-really not a mystery) but a joke]

that's not living real life though

is it

---

is it?

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Asia dreams of blue suede pumas and Spartacus and feels thankful for (not) having to think about the value of every single second of this life or the mysterious humming sound she knows that they both hear, so randomly often, now in their new house.