Can't think, anymore. Can't move to wake shaking in the night. Alone. Not alone. It doesn't matter anymore. And when I think about you, out there, here. It's enough to lose faith in the reality of spinning earths and recipes for cake. When I wake in the night to the sound of my own voice screaming. Instead it's not-you. familar as throwing-up holiday dinners. and being noondrunk on sundays. nightmouth cruel. turn me tightlipped.dumbfound.thoughts. shiver me. anymore.