there's something i wanted to put here. about how one day you wake up and realize that the past doesn't define you the way it used to. you don't walk around in your own world afraid to crack the egg shells or sure someone is going to discover that you're a fraud, even, at your very own expense. you're in control of your paycheck and your rent bills. your wardrobe and the sound and content of your own voice. and that no matter what and for the rest of your very own life. you can do with your time whatever you want. and maybe that took years of uncertainty. restraint. uncanny relentless pain. and maybe even in those dark moments it's hard to recognize myself. imagine myself now. here. in me. so staggering and staid in you.