i spent a lot of time being a bad girlfriend
a bad friend
i loved people i shouldn't have
at times i shouldn't have
even when i always
knew better
i feel bad for these lapses of conscience
and imagine myself writing The Steps-style apology letters
to my former selves
to you
i want to say things like
It wasn't your fault that I was miserable with myself and the world.
and
There wasn't anything about you that made things go wrong.
but then, i'd never really send them
apologies are only usually for the sender
and i've already been selfish enough