stumbling like tumbling weeds in search of the prairie
Last night 0j offered to give me a lift home from campus. We joked around on the way to the car. In the car on the way to do an errand. He kept asking me if I was okay—if I was sick. But I was fine. A-okay. He kept looking at me funny. He kept asking me to repeat myself. I wasn’t sure where we were and had trouble letting myself into my own building. 0j said he wanted to stay and make me something to eat, even when I said I wasn’t hungry. Maybe I remember dinner, but I’m not sure.
He helped me into my office so that I could do some work.
I realized things were going terribly wrong when thinking clearly and walking on my own became a huge task. I decided to take a shower and came fumbling out of my office dropping clothes in piles like spilt milk along the way. My shirt. Watch. 0j shot up from the couch, what’s going on there?
I stumbled closer to the bathroom and tried motioning to the shower. Do you need some help?
he asked—ushering me into the room and gracefully closing the door. Maybe I remember the shower, but I’m not sure.
Later, I didn’t tell 0j that I was worried I might be stroking out, when I realized that I couldn’t make sensible speech. When I tried to ask a simple question about what he was queuing up on a video tape, for example, I asked what are you making?
rather than what are you watching or what are you doing or even something more relevant and general like what’s this? Or that for the most part when I said anything at all, he couldn't understand me. I’m probably just overtired. Still today I’m feeling largely out of control.