i've found a way to dvr old episodes of come dine with me
and i watch them late at night
with or without wine
it feels like a lazy cheap way
to escape

of feeling like i might get back there some day

then i just feel pathetic about the empty lies i still let myself believe in
and go to bed

we are mowing the lawn and looking for houses
there's a permanency and a semi-permanency to everything
it seems. these days.
going through iced cold glasses of lemon water
and sketch pads of ideas
we are signing our names to important documents we probably should have read more carefully
over and over
and over