i don't really know when you
started
only just that i am here
when you need me
that's enough
recognition
really, for what we are

when i gulped air and thought that all my days and days were long limbs and numbness
the crispness of sheets just pressed and firm on the mattress
or the floor
anywhere
i don't know the way that words drop and fall into rooms stark and stupid
like i used to
my name, not gormless and shrinking
lurking behind the scenes
waiting
i am not the sun or the moon or the metaphor between you and anything else
i don't skin fish
read maps
drive a car
pass for any version of a responsible adult
still, there are moments i don't mind
and i don't

sometimes i think, the stuff i write doesn't have the same kind of intensity that it used to. and thank fucking god.